Dust Yourself Off And Try Again

Hey hey hey. I was on a super brief hiatus but i'm back. I am currently out of a laptop so it's kinda hard to keep up. I haven't been up to much lately went out last night to Chris' house with my girls and had fun catching up with everyone since we never get to see one another. That's about it... but down to the nitty gritty of what's on my mind.
Anyone that knows me, knows I am a sucker for love. Yeah the whole addicted to kissing and hugging touching and rubbing type deal lol. I had it once upon a time ago and miss it dearlyyy. I only been in love once.. at least i think it was love.. hmm. Not going into details on that but needless to say things didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to. I messed up.....badly and I tried to right my wrongs but some people aren't as forgiving as I expected them to be. in the end LIFE GOES ON and i'm a better person now than I was a few months ago because I now have recognized my flaws and are slowly but surely working on them to impress the new mr. right ... whomever that may be. I've been dating around lately thinking it wouldn't be so hard to find a guy to hold me down and treat me like i'm supposed to be treated.........well as you all may know i was WRONG. I met some keepers but things didn't work out because they were so convinced i was living in the past which [i kind of am but i think i deserve ALOT of credit because i've moved 75 steps forward closer to 100 of erasing my past] and the rest just kind of feel off but for the most part...all I can say is wow. Some of these dudes either have more drama in their life than a 16 year old girl with 10 possible babies fathers or are straight up legit STALKERS. Jeeeeeeeeez. I'm 19 years old I never have and never will have a "man" keeping tabs on me all hours of the day by blowingggg up my phone, monitoring who I take pics with, who I go out with etc. Naaaa son none of that! I have a mother and father that do enough of it I don't need another person keeping tabs on me. I kind of have a bad habit of when i get turned off or i'm just plain uninterested I drop people like hot potatoes and NEVER answer their calls or texts. Maybe that's why they continue to call me cuz i haven't properly dismissed them but come on people lets be real : if i haven't answered you in more than a month WHY ARE YOU STILL CALLING ME?! i didn't answer a month ago and i'm not gonna answer now ughhhh. what have i done so wrong to meet these fools? But whatever that isn't gonna stop me from keeping my eyes wide for the next possible honey. Keri Hilson said it best in Knock You Down "sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down just get back up when it knocks you down" and that's exactly what i intend upon doing. don't know when i'll have the time to do so since i'm apparently the live in babysitter in this house. without a doubt everytime i want to go out and actually do something REALLY fun my parents have a million plans and shut me down when I tell them what's up for the night ughh. for instance one of my male friends just texted me and let me know that their having an event at Catch 22 in the city and i was welcome to come. Am I going? Of course not! I have a 13 year old boy to monitor. I just want my old life back where I can come and go as I please! I really need to get my shit together and pull straight A's this semester to raise my GPA so i can transfer out of community college ASAP cuzzzzz the partial parental lock is killin me majorly!!! All in all the moral of this entire scatter brained blog entry is dust yourself off and try again cuz i know i'm not the only one strugglin in some way or another. for me -- that applies heavily in the love department and the life department because both haven't been lookin too bright and shiny as of late. . . but that's all for now i'm starving so i'm about to make some poppin ass pasta [ yummm - that was for you di! lol] i'll probably be back on later since i'll be home doing NOTHINGGGGGGGG. [ thanks mommy & daddy ] -- later kids.
* You know you love me -k* NaTaSHA